I'm Married To Barney Fife

Is issuing a "Citizen's Arrest" really legal, and legitimate? Barney did it, Preston seems to think he can do it, and Nehemiah has a few stories.
We were driving home on Easter Sunday from Beech Grove, Indiana after visiting Val because Jim is back for a week or 2. We drank beer and wine and had a nice time. So Jordan was driving P's car and he was in the back seat with his cooler, and I was in the front. We stopped at Gas America in Greenfield to gas up and he got out to pump. Meanwhile, Jordan and I were gawking at the chic at the next pump, who had huge boobs bulging out of a hot pink top with no neckline, and Tammy Faye make up on. She went inside, and so did P for some strange reason, as he always pays at the pump. Pretty soon here she came out again, and P was following. He runs up to the door and ordered Jordan into the back seat, jumps in and we rip out of there, pulling out in front of oncoming traffic, P revving the engine so hard it sort of just bogged out. So back onto I70 WEST we go, chasing the car. P was on the phone to the cashier at the store listing off the type of car, description of the driver and passenger and the plate number. He kept switching lanes and speeding right on their bumper in an extremely obvious, maniacle manner. They became aware we were chasing them and kept switching lanes and driving crazy trying to get away from us. So by the time we got to Post Rd, they pretended they weren't getting off, then at the last second they swerved over and up the ramp. We were right on their bumper and at the top of the ramp they slammed on the brakes, P slammed on them too, pulling up right beside them. She flew out of the car and P was literally out the window to his waist, yelling at her "ARE YOU GOING TO PAY FOR THE ******* GAS YOU JUST PUMPED?!!! YOU DIDN"T PAY, YOU KNOW YOU DIDN"T, IT WAS 36$...... She yelled that she did pay with a credit card, and he yelled NO YOU DIDN"T ARE YOU GOING TO PAY FOR IT? I ALREADY CALLED THE COPS AND THEY ARE GOING TO BE ON YOU, THEY KNOW WHERE YOU ARE AND YOUR DESCRIPTION, THEY ARE GOING TO GET YOU>>>all the while waving and pointing his Blackberry at her.
Can you imagine what that looked like? They of course had no idea who he was, they probably just thought he was some nutty, self- appointed, eye-wittness type character who goes around, enraged, trying to right all the wrongs in the world.
Did I mention that he had been drinking a beer in the back seat before all this transpired? Anyway, they took off, driving crazy and P decided to give it up since Jordan got really upset and told him to stop it. I don't think anything came of it, because we haven't heard a thing, even though the cashier did report it and give the description and plate number. But it was crazy, and this isn't the first time he'd done this sort of thing.
He can sense a drive-off probably 100% of the time. He can tell the set up, the look of the situation, the people, the whole thing. So he had gone inside just to see if she was going to pay when she went in, and she didn't. She went to the bathroom and then left, and he checked the pump on his way out to be sure. They hadn't paid.
When he was just a manager at Speedway, I would find rocks in his pockets. He kept them in there in case he had to chase any drive offs. He would park the Monte Carlo so he could run out and peel out down Highschool Road to chase DO's. He actually pulled 2 guys over once, and they ended up giving him all the money they had, which didn't cover the amount they had pumped, but still...
When he worked at Quality Farm and Fleet, he and a few other employees ended up out in the parking lot chasing a car around, trying to block it in the lot, after the occupants stole a bag of hammers. They finally started throwing the hammers out of the car, as they frantically tried to get out of the lot, and P finally had to let them go before someone got ran over.
He was in the back room of a Speedway when it got robbed one time, and he ran out the door after them and nearly got run over by the get-away car.
Jordan told Nehemiah about it and he then proceeded to tell her all about his days as a Secret Shopper and all of the people he chased and caught stealing.
Everybody wants to be a cop!